Polaroids in the Darkness

Watching TV episodes on the computer.
That is the one sentence that best describes my life here, since leaving Lisa and leaving Toronto.
That's essentially all I've really done.
Fringe, Battlestar Galactica, Caprica, Dexter, and Nurse Jackie.
Nurse Jackie is the best of the bunch. It stars the brilliantly talented Edie Falco as a no-nonsense, opioid addicted nurse, and is far and away one of the most intelligent things I've seen on TV. It's just so densely packed. There's so much going on there.
I have no ambition, no drive and I'm feeling pretty miserable for the most part.
I feel like I've lost something, like I should miss Lisa, but when I think about her, about what we had together, about all she put me through I just get angry and I don't miss her at all.
This wallowing in self pity isn't doing me any good though, and so instead I need to start writing and more importantly thinking of things from a point of view that's more empowering.
Maybe tomorrow.
One positive development is that for the first time in a bout 6 months, I'mk actually enjoying music. I've loved music all my life., and then towards the end of last summer I just stopped. It all sounded like noise. The last few days though, I'm actually enjoying it again - and that is the one positive thing I can think of right now.
And on top of everything else Alex Chilton died today.
So there you are.